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CHAMPAIGN ILLINOIS
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SPRINGFIELD ILLINOIS
On Sunday Mr. J.H. Christ regains consciousness in a dank, cavernous tomb. "Oh my Dad, what happened this weekend?" he thinks. "I must have been pretty hammered for two days to go by like that. I think we had a good time on Friday ... shit." Looking through his hands and feet, he exclaims, "I really got hammered." So he crawls out of the cave on his holy hands and knees into town to find some falafel to try and keep down. His twelve friends came by later to see if he was still passed out, but he had Risen.